3rd Gidea Park Scout Group
web site . . .
HQ. The Rowswell Hall, St Michaels Church, Gidea Park.
 Beavers (6 - 8 years) Tues & Fri | Cubs (8 - 10.5) Tues & Fri | Scouts (10.5 - 14) 7:30 Thur
This expedition took place during the 1993 3rd Gidea Park Summer Camp at Kandersteg International Scout Centre in Switserlend. As was tradition with 3GP summer camps lots of expeditions were taking plase including two groups of Scouts one of whom were completing thair Chief Scouts Challenge. This page however concerns Andy, Jeremy, Craig and Mark's Queens Scout Award Expedition.

Craig has disappeared to see flush (so called because a lavatory chain is the only thing he could pull) because she is leaving tomorrow and he's not going to get to see her again. (Yesterday was very amusing with flush as Craig got dumped but that's an other story)

To the left you can see a shrunken sketch map of our entire hike. and below is a photo of the map from our first days hiking.

Just about to leave ½ hour late - Never mind Craig's back now, he never got a kiss ho-ho ho no-no no no no luck no no-no luck no no he's got no luck - etc.

Leave camp site 1 hour late - Stop at bank, Mark leaves passport in tent, What a cheesy plonker, Mark has no money HA, HA Reach Co-op - Meet Gail and Rowan again. Craig can't buy boot laces in co-op, so Craig goes to shoe shop to buy laces, as he returns across bridge over the river Kander, his untied boot lace gets caught under the front of his boot so....


...he kicks his boot forward to free the lace...
but instead of freeing the lace, the boot frees itself of Craig's stinking foot and flys into the air. Craig points to us and laughs - What a plonker! The boot jumps over the barrier and into the water!


Jem and Andy chase boot down river for about 30 miles. Andy stops because he feels like chundering. Jem overtakes boot and attempts a heroic rescue when boot shouts, "You'll never take me alive" and promptly sinks! Jem and Andy shout profanities, Craig is a prat, and other friendly phrases, then wet themselves laughing. On his way back to the bridge Jem twisted his ankle. This hike is doomed, doomed I tell you!

Meenwhile Craig is standing on the bridge with one boot missing looking distressed as a small crowd forms. Someone is heard to say "what is happening" and an American tourist replies "I think this Guy just lost his boot!"

So now Craig has only 1 boot he cannot possibly contemplate doing the expedition. An angry Andy and Jem send him back to camp in his socks with instructions to not be seen by the Leaders as they won't let him hike without boots. He is to get his (rank stinking) trainters and hike in them!

Craig's Top 3 Films

1 A Bridge too far
2 Bridge over the river qui
3 A river runs through it

Top songs

1 Bridge over Troubled Waters - Simon & Garfunkle
2 Ride across the River - Dire Straits
3 Down to the water line - Dire Straits
4 Good Night Girl - Wet Wet Wet
5 River of dreams - Billy Joel

The illustration on the right is the original from the Log.


12:00 What a Plonker
Craig is a prat! If he hadn't lost his shoe a big Van would not have come along, nearly run us down and completely squashed the ink out of our little pen. I think I will teach him a lesson.

Still in Kandersteg 2 and a half-hours late. Jem and Mark are in the toilet, Craig is in love with a pasta shell or something like that. Weyhey we are off at last I still feel like a lump of old rubbish, probably look like it as well - Andy

(Funny enough....... Jem)

1.00pm. Finally made it to cable Car and bought tickets. Tried to work out ticket machine and so wasted another 10 minutes. We are now on way up hanging on to this book for dear life. Now this is the way to travel - seats are a bit hard and bloke beside me is a bit of a bad conversationalist - I asked him how long he had been hear and ware he was going, but all he said was 'SAC' so I think he's going to the same place as us. I can see the pub from ere all ten - Its time to get off - and I'm not ready. - Jem

At top of cablecar, Blümlisalphütte is 4hrs away by sign post.

I still feel like a lump of Craig and that's Bad!!!! Ok - Andy

2.45pm. Although we are having a good laugh I am feeling really depressed, I have left Rachelle (FLUSH!) in tears, clutching my necklace and my scarf (BARF BARF) She said that she was coming over to London before Christmas so I will definitely have to see her then. I am having lunch at the moment and am still thinking of Rachelle (Flush!)  Jem's slices of bread a.k.a. bricks stand up on their own. I think I am very fond of Rachelle. - Craig (With Jem's additions in brackets)

Madness It must be Love Love Love
Nothing more nothing less,
Love (FLUSH) is the best.....

Late start, said good bye to Rowan and Gail at camp + at Bank + at co-op (3 good byes!!) - Mark
 (Marks Knackered)

Having lunch, JJs Doorsteps are so thick that they stand up on there own, even on an un even surface, JJ takes off his shirt and the sun goes in, before he has put it on the bench Only 900m to go, CD is happy? is it the cat that is licking him?

3hrs 45Mins TO GO

Jem embarrasses himself, Just as a samurai warrior walks past. We will remove the sward from his head later.

What bad timing - The very moment I talk about another Scout's dad giving me grief whilst swearing very loudly in Chinese, Bruce Lee strolls past and gives a very convincing evil glare after round housing me in the throat. I shall regain Consciousness soon.

Unfortunately we can't go on due to the fact that Jackie Chan has just Numchuckered Jem and pummelled seven shades of hell out of him. Andy has regained consciousness and is still feeling bad, even though he hasn't had a drink in a week.

Setting of for OneHellOfABig UnprounouncableNameHutte

Got to this hut - Andy's going to lav. Everyone is so knackered and Craig hasn't stopped talking about, Bog chain. Mark's let one hell of a rip off and all the other people in the room have left. Craig is in love with a bit of Italian Spaghetti regurgitated rubbish.



Just about to cook the meal - If can be Bothered - Marks Jealous of a crow cause it takes up all the room in the sleeping bag - no really it does - all the room.

I'm in bed (Lannin), 2 girls have come in to the room, and turned on a battery operated appliance of some description. The other 3 have just turned up and the girls are still hear, Craig has just broken wind in front of them, what a way to pull.

Way-hey I'm blowing off like a good'n now. Should be able to clear the room in a few minutes.

Talking about jonny's at the moment and how they can inflate them and let them fly around Oxford (Tom Sharp Porter House Blue CH 9)

Some blokes just told us to shut up!

Andy noticed a funny smell and thought it was marks B.O. but to my dismay it wasn't, nope it was my blanket. Jeramy has just done the second pepparami impression of the night and the wind is howling out of Andy's bum like something rather unpleasant of a shovel. - Mark.

Rachelle (FLUSH!) leaves tomorrow, I can't say goodbye to her (OH NO!) as I am half way to the top of the world but she is in my thoughts.
(Love is the sweetest thing Nothing on earth could ever bring Such happiness to every thing
and I will write to here as soon as I get back -Craig -Sad Man - (Sarcastic additions JJ)



Tomorrow is going to take the mick although we are in bed at 9.30!! The reason for this is simple NO BEER!

We had strong ale with our dinner, which was gorgeous.

See you at Christmas!! -Craig

You stupid cow- Jem

Every one has loud wind tonight, Noisy Pepparami wind. The type that we can't help laughing at. In hear it is hot, so I spilt some water on our bed to cool us down. We watched the sun set, It's still quite light outside at 9.30 for this far south. - Mark

We looked out the window to try and work out roughly where we are going tomorrow. The day after we will have to cross an ice patch, but that we expected that. - Mark

The ridge that we follow in the morning has snow on it. I am going to sleep now. Craig has just blown off and apparently and it hurt.  I am jealous of the floppy crow.


03.30 Lots of people get up + leave, ether they are trying to get out without paying or they are going on a dawn hike, either way they are ANNOYING!!!!!!!

We have just got up at about 07.50. Craig thinks it's going to be cold, just because of the wind Possibly.

I have just walked up stairs from the lavs and I am totally knackered, It took 5 min to walk the last 100m yesterday. At 2840m the altitude is affecting us. - Mark


Good news we have our Gold Hütten tests!!!! sing for joy!

I no longer have the trots, Hurrah. I am constipated now. Boooo - Andy

Had a good conversation about eating horse, Jem said that he wouldn't recommend it to your mother. Rachell (FLUSH) leaves today. Boo hoo, never mind, out on the pull Thursday and Friday night Hurrah. - Craig
(Yeh, for a grot - JJ)


Tuesday 10.10am

10 mins from hut, Hairy bloke very friendly - It's hot and I have a stone in my shoe. Andy and Craig take off their tops and sun goes in. Way down is Pepparami steep (It's a bit of an animal)

Just came down a Pepparami path, this path was so steep, it made First and Stant look like a J Sainsburys pork sausage, we had to almost abseail, using a chain.

CD has just stacked it on his knee and it really hurts as it ripped across two existing scars, He is wiping them with an antiseptic wipe from the Gregson pack. He is complaining so much that no one will call him a plonker! <--OOPs


(Sorry, I just cant help myself)

Andy :- How far is it from Frutigen to AdelBoden
Jem :- don't know, never done it!

11.40 Jem stacks it in a rather dainty and well presented manner, with all the charm and flair of a flying Elephant. Everyone dumps......
there sacks and has a mars/snickers.

V difficult down hill walking

Andy's Poem

My God How I Miss Her,
Her Wonderful Body,
The Smooth Curves,
Her Whiteness,
The Way The Water Flows Inside Her,
O How I Love,
The Toilet!................
(She Smells like one! - Jem)

Andy 1993.

At the moment I am playing main course for a swarm of fly's. Rachelle (FLUSH ) will have left Switzerland and be on her way to Italy. (Hooray ) Jem is a sod because he is a boring fagot, my knee hurts like hell, And my heart is broken (also LIKE HELL - JJ)!

Lunch after sending Craig away - an Idyllic scene, on a piece of flat ground by a mountain stream, the distant sound of cow bells majestically ringing on the lush green mountain side. Not a sole in sight, BUT CRIAG HAS TO WRECK IT BY LIGHTING UP A FAG!!

Just put one mahocive splinter under my finger nail, it took two minutes to get out and it still hurts like HELL! - Mark



I don't like pot scruples, (Pot noodles) they bring back my chronic gut ache. We've got 2 and a half hours more walking to do, 800 meters up to the next hut. I just want to have a kip so I think I will.

Two and a half hours walking to go and I am not looking forward to it. Myself and Jeramy have decided to have a "grab a grot" competition when we get back to camp on Thursday. Jem will win because I can Only pull attractive girls and he gets there ugly mates. Ha ha!

Jem is still bad mouthing Rachell (FLUSH ) by calling here bad things - he's just jealous.

Actually Craig is wrong. His girl is such a bad lass that she was about to charge him for a kiss when Ian came back from having slurped all over her mate.

Yesterdays Lunch

Bread - butter - Tatar (Boursin)

We are now sheltering in a very smelly farmhouse cos there is a lot of water around, yes it's raining very hard at 1.20


Yesterdays dinner

2 tins stewing steak
1 big tin of beans
1 really tiny tin of peas
another big tin of rice pud

Today's dinner

1 Squat Poodle each
Bread - Funny butter stuff, marmalade, jelly

It's now stopped raining at 1.30pm

2.25pm - alt 2000m

Blumisalp hut had it's supplies dumped off by helicopter - 3 Times

Andy's annoyed because cameras knackered and it's raining again.
I can see the hut from here.

Oops we arrived at our home for the night, the Gspaltenhorn Hutte (alt - 2458m) just before the rain arrived. We've got to sleep in the cellar with a load of kids! 

Arriving I sparked up a fag, Ahh that feels good. Still can't get Rachelle (FLUSH) out of my mind and I am going to keep writing her name to annoy Jem. (He gets all funny every time we stop- I think it's the smell of cheesy feet.) Craig.


Have just bought a local beer called Hopfeuperle and it is very nice.

STUPID QUOTE: Look at that over there, you cant see it! By JJ

Its bed time 
Rachelle (FLUSH ) will be in Italy now - even though we are together in thought. CD

(Love lifts us up ware we belong,
ware Eagles fly over mountains high.

We have missed the heavy rain by about 15 - 20 min, we are sharing our room with loads of little German speaking kids. The water here is boiling hot, not cool enough to drink. Talking of drink, I am very light headed on half a can of Hopfenperle SWISS BEER, I can't even put the cap on the pen, I missed twice, We have decided to take tomorrow as it comes, i.e. (That's Id est) we will cross the ridge and find the best way, we are now talking about shaving and beards "The weather is clearing" shouts Mark as a clap of thunder comes. Craig cant stop talking about Rachell "Flush" The I-tie who doesn't speak English, He is pine-ing for her, what a plumb. (She isn't very nice) - Mark



( Have sip of beer ) Where are we going to cook dinner? I am looking forward to meeting the rest of the troop (GAIL - Jem) in INTERLARKEN in 2 days time, today was not as tiring as yesterday but I have a cold! - Mark

Andy's asleep (Surprise surprise, the unexpected PEN hits you between the eyes) Jem

Mark just sneezed in my hair, oh it's alright, it's just crawled out into the cafe creme with loads of Alcohol.

What a plumb! Jem squirted hot liquid on the route plans and Map. Hey up, here comes the Acoholic coffee, excellent!

This Swiss Coffee is tasty, really good I might, buy one later.

The Altitude of our hut is 2458m and I am tired so you will have to to excuse my poor writing. Again her see to wait can't I - here of fond extremely am I that think I, Christmas at over comes she when there in one (FLUSH ).Chunder a with do could I and round spinning is room the that fact the from apart drunk quite Feeling am I coffee my drinking after.

(He was writing the above bit very quickly, his writing was absolutely illegible so it isn't typed up very well)

Jeramy has just called out to a cat and some foreign bloke turned round why? Rachelle (Flush ) will have been in Italy and will be at home (with someone else for good) I wish that I was with her. I have just made a muck up (nothing new) - Craig (JJ)

Craig has just said "I like the way Jem takes the mick out of everyone else and not himself.  Now he's just made a bad comment and offended the people behind him.

Fairly warm here, looks like it's raining over Frutigen, I wonder how the others are, If it's raining I hope Liz has to sleep by the tent door with the knackered zip, I bet they break or lose something, A stove, tent or map.

Coffee here is most excellent and I have just got rid of the shrapnel in my pocket, now it's starting to rain. An avalanche has just fallen. Great sun set.

Mark has just done one loud - 3 toned trombone fart and two German people have given us funny looks while we choked on coffee trying to contain ourselves.

The time is 9.10 pm and all are going to bed - Craig's feet smell of cheese and Andy's hands are so cold he's giving himself a rub to warm them up.

JEM I have just impressed the whole cabin with my full moon and cling on's.

Craig has just done the loudest fart in history and me and Andy have just coughed out an entire nose trying not to laugh - Other Germans are not amused - extremely funny moment in time. Andy is now rubbing his feet and has got a smile on his face. - Jem

Craig is thinking of Flush who'll give you a kiss for a five pence.

Craig's feet smell, Craig's pits smell - Craig's bum smells - Craig's breath smells - Craig is one walking elephants bottom.




Wed 4th Aug 7.30am

The Swiss are not amused by our toilet humor, speaking of which, there's a odd bloke next to Mark.

(But I was next to Craig) Mark

Jem You mean the bald bloke with lots of hair?

That's the sort of Quote you come up with early in the mourning. 

It's mourning... Wake up all you sleepy heads it's the start of a brand new day - the sun is shining - the air is cool and fresh and the sheep are playing in the fields.  What makes it the best day ever is that FLUSH (The unbelievably smelly girl from Italia) is waking up in anther country and hopefully Craig will stop prattling on about her.

Andy wakes up again and says "Plumbs! I've got a splinter in my foot' Jem says "That rat boy Ian, he follows us everywhere"

(NOTE: For some reason Ian was nicknames Splinter - The Rat from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles)


Last Nights Meal

Pasta (Tricolour) animals (Cow,Bird,Rabbit,Horse,Pig)
Turkey meat
Bolognaise sauce
water Tomato soup.

Afters beer- coffee Liqueur stuff Sainsburys Fruit cake


Craig and myself have just purchased some GSPALTENHORN HüTTE T-Shirts for 18F Approx. £7-8 each (Not Bad)

I have just sneezed all over this Log! The rain clouds seem to have gone and the sun is out, Today is going to be a downy uppey downy sort of day, Also it's a long day and we need to get away. Craig + Jem are just using the Lav.

CD has returned and taken Andy to watch Jem's depositions rolling down the mountain. Clouds are now returning.

10.10 we leave S.A.C. hut and a great big chopper dumps it's load right next to us. I got loads of dust in my eye.


10.25 Stop off on ledge for shirts off and photograph

Joke of the Day

Whist pointing to black sheep - "I think I love Yew"

"Yew's lot are a bunch of plonkers"



Pictures above show us crossing the only snow and ice patch in the hike.  The snow was on a north facing slope shaded by the west flank of Bütlasse.  The altitude was 2385m and when climbing in the sun it was warm.  We were heading for the ridge in the distance of the left picture.  The altitude there was over 2600m and from there we could see the Eiger and the Jungfrau.


11.00 Fun and frolics in the snow and what does the Queens scout expedition rules say about snow "Um Bum"

Go down on our Feet and kagoules Excellent fun. Jem says don't slip down that crevasse bit at start of sledge ride and what does everyone do?

Found some poor bloke in the snow so we took photographs and left the poor man. (Picture above)

11.20, Just climbed a very pepparami bit - One by one - Clinging on to a rail - filled pants.

12.30 Got to Poganggen hut in Half hour (Supposed to take 1hr). In mean time it has absolutely poured down on us. Rain hail sleet the lot.

Outside hut we bump into two brit Venture Scouts hiking the oposite way doing the Explorer Belt. We see them a few days later in the Crystal in Kandersteg


Lunch was squat poodle with a grumpy hut owner.

We have walked on from lunch, argued about the way and are now resting from a storm under a tree near Oxon, There is thunder over Jungfru.

We got wet 'cos my Cagoule is about as waterproof as a soggy toilet tissue and by the looks of it we are going to get  wet again!

Once again it is raining, we are sitting under a tree trying to hike with a cow. I do hope Rachelle (FLUSH ) is okay - I will write to here when I get home.

3.15 Our present altitude is 1343m only 400 down left to go and about 4km

Andy's having a dump in a hut and Mark's leg hurts so he's gone on ahead ( I think he's annoyed because I threw a stone in his hair and it stuck in)


Poganggen is below the restaurant built at the top of the Schilthorn.  This place is marketed as the James Bond restaurant as it was used as Blowfelt's base in the film on Her Majesties Secret Service.

Some bloke has just arrived on a bike and his breaks don't work, Our Peek stove spanners don't work (It's very steep - ho ho ho) oh Lannin's just fixed his breaks - no fun.

4.10 we are now at bottom of valley in Stechelberg and it's hot! I mean really hot we are now going to find the camp site for the night, then have a large shower!

We have just passed the first campsite and are now making our way to the second.  We have stopped outside a Vis-a-Vis supermarket and I have just bought a pantene 2-in-1 hair conditioner and sixty fags as I ran out last night.  The James Bond cable car is in sight and it looks like it may rain. Jem has just made a comment about some bird. Our compass just needs a House and a snowman and we will have a shaken snow scene.  (ie, the liquid in it is cloudy)


We are now in one gorgeous campsite, all have amusing hot showers.  Now relaxing and making dinner whilst eating Paprika crisps and drinking beers.

Dinner not too bad, just about to finish the washing up.

Make a large fuss in shower room by pretending to be woman in pantene advert.

Going to the bar to chat to 3 girls now.

On arrival to the bar I ordered a plate of chips. Sitting down myself and Jeremy have been giving the eye to two young ladies and to three Brits upstairs. Jaws 5 in the making. Fergal and Jaws 5.

On top form again.

(EXPLANATION: Sharking is the art of flirting with intent!)

Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear, most of the sharks in the world are suffering from acute embarrassment. The art of sharking has taken a severe setback.  Jem has taken the candle approach, Craig has taken the smoking differently approach, what's more embarrassing is that the girls are falling for it, as well as the fact that my rear end keeps making loud announcements to the campsite.


Oh dear now Jem and Craig have moved to a more strategic position and are putting poofy flowers in their hair/mouth (Delete as appropriate for each plonker) The girls are ignoring them I think it's time for the stronger approach a few chat up suggestions.

At this point they wrote a large sign on a page in the log that read.




Fergal Chief Broady


Strooth! were about half a day ahead of ourselves. Because all the camp sites at the end of day 3 were full we walked most of day 4 before stopping for the night. It's now Just a few K to Interlaken, might get there early, Nahh

Discuss the possibilities of a bar crawl, to Inter-L but all forgotten what we decided. Craig + Jem are singing Romeo and Juliet, Serenading each other? Everybody is unusually happy. Andy has gone to clean his lenses and Craig is paranoid that he has gone to chat up his freshly sharked girls, he has almost forgotten Flush, Hooray!!!!!!!


Jungfrou Jock (STRAP) (Bhan)


Who knows what time a.m.?

Woke up turned over someone next door has just broke wind loudly, Andy has woken up and told me that it is 7.20

20 Kilometres! 20 KILOMETERS! I mean 20 Kilometres, that's like 20,000 meters to go before we reach Interlaken.

10.15 left the campsite, walked for an hour and we are about a third of the way to Interlarken. On our way we have met Rosanne Barr, a 90 year old granny driving a Mercedes and we have stopped so Andy can have an other visit to the lav. At present we are admiring a warning sign.

Got to Interlarken and had a 'Mr grill' cheeseburger and chips - (it rained again) and meat others (all with one shoe on - one shoe off - taking the mick out of a Craig.)

Go to a grassy bit, sit down to relax jump up and do forward rolls and star jumps (Also head stands) in front of people taking pictures and cine film - Some find it amusing - Others call us names a little stronger in language than 'Stupid silly plonkers who eat nothing else than hairy cow excrement'

Come back to Kandersteg by train and make pancakes. (Chief tosser - tosses excellently again) sorting out tent - now going for a shower. Girls V annoyed with Craig (Surprise Surprise) They are now singing songs about him so he has turned the music up - we are now beardless and I feel cold and lonely without it like a man without his woman - Craig not being able to Flush.


Went Sharking today whilst still on the hike - mostly crashed and burned though - Bummer.

Now in tent eating Cadburies Animals and listening to hot City nights, now for the next Animal round.

Craig gets a Hippo......
Ian ........ Tiger......
Lan ....... Kangeroo.....
Mark ..... Tiger.........
Chief Animal man --Jem ....... Monkey

Well hear we are again back in our smelly tent at Kandersteg - well I wont be for long 'cos I'm going to play with my hot water bottle! It's Chocolate Animal time and chief of animal ceremony, Jem is excelling once again.

What bliss a drink and an Animal or two or 3 or 4 or 5 ..... Only two days to go and at last my gut has settled down which means it food city here I come hopefully Nikki will support my sagging gut as I talk.


Due to the fact of JJs bad singing and a horrid noise from the girls tent next door I am finding it very hard to think about writing this book and more importantly about Rachelle (Flush ).

I am now writing on the accounts page 'cause plonker put the accounts too far in from the back. I have successfully annoyed ( perhaps) all the girls - excellent.

I have just given Jem a cardiac arrest as he smelt my feet ha ha.